


Christmas Faith

by writtenthroughtime



Category: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 12:25:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5497001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenthroughtime/pseuds/writtenthroughtime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally I was going to post this in answer to a prompt from di-elle, however, as this built more substance, it’s not at all fluffy enough to fulfill it. Never fear, that prompt has been filled and will be released on Christmas day as promised. This one was too far developed for me to delete, and can also be related to the prompt filled for 25 Days of Outlander. I have not proofread this one, so if there are any mistakes, terribly sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     Faith peered down at her family gathered around a fire and freshly cut evergreen tree. A smile crossed her face as she saw her parents, finally reunited, gray streaked through their hair, but together; across from them sat her sister and brother-in-law, Bree had grown up to be a stunning woman who looked so much like their grandma it took Faith’s breath away; her niece and nephew sat on a rug by the fire, Mandy hugging a stuffed doll her mother had made, while Jem looked down the barrel of a gun his grandfather had gifted him. Christmas at the Ridge was a quiet affair, full of traditions Faith grew up watching her mother and sister celebrate; watching as they began introducing these traditions to her father was in itself a gift to her.  
     All these years watching from above prayed heavy on her heart. For a time she was able to communicate with her family on almost a daily basis, especially Bree.  
     “What has ye thinking so hard, a leannan?” The soft voice of her grandmother came from behind her.  
     “Do ye think they remember me?” Faith’s Fraser blue eyes turned to her grandmother, beseeching an answer no one there could rightfully answer. “I dinna mean me in general, the bairn they lost, but me; the little girl who helped ease the pain of separation for twenty years; the child who played with her sister only to be written off as an imaginary friend; do ye think Mam and Da remember me?”  
     “Aye a leannan, I do believe they remember ye. Especially yer Da. Ye should ken it, ye’ve seen his dreams; no only that, ye’ve helped guide his dreams to find yer kin while separated. How could he no remember ye?”  
     Her grandmother stroked her curly brown hair back, a soothing gesture Faith wished more than anything came from her own mother. “Gran, I’ve ne’er heard them speak of me. It-it makes me feel as though I wasna wanted. I ken that’s no the case, Mam prays about me often enough, Da as well, but they pray for the tiny bairn no the woman I would be today.”  
     “Faith, ye have to understand, they can only see ye as the bairn ye were when ye were lost from them. They canna let go of the image of your innocent body gone before it was given a chance to live. Ask your grandda about what that’s like, he’ll tell ye how he though of poor Robert before he came here. Losing a child, it does things to ye that is hard to explain.” Ellen walked to the edge of Faith’s viewing area. “Ye’ve had it the worst, ye’ve had to watch both of yer parents suffer and grieve for ye and there’s no a thing ye can do about it.”  
     Faith stared back down at the scene before them, simple presents given out of love and a new tradition. Happiness was all she could see, her parents happiness filled her with even more joy and melancholy. She longed to be there with them.  
     “Is it possible, do ye think, that I may be able to visit them? It is close to the winter solstice still, the door still glows strong…” The door had been steadily become harder and harder to cross through after her parents reunited. Only on the fire feasts and solstices could she easily pass through to visit her family in their dreams.  
     “Are ye sure ye want to go? They may no remember a thing in the morning.”  
     Nodding, Faith had to go, she wanted to give them a present, she wanted her family to see she was always with them.  
     Sighing, Ellen guided her granddaughter to the door she had used so many times before. “Now ye ken ye only have until yer Mam and Da fall asleep, then ye have to be back. It’s no like before, ye are going and giving them a waking dream, use the time wisely.”  
     Faith took a look around the room, both of her grandfathers standing together, her Uncle’s watching in mild relief, and her grandmother by her side; she had to go, to tell her Mam and Da of both sets of grandparents, Murtagh, Willie, Robbie, Lamb, and Ian—her most recent uncle to join; turning back to the door she took a step and welcomed the crawling coolness of the light. One foot in the door and the other on the front porch of the Fraser big house.  
     She felt more solid than she ever had before—normally she arrived in a wispy state full of incoherent forms thanks to the dreamscapes of those she visits. Looking herself over, her body curved just like her mothers only slightly taller, long brown curls tumbled to below her breasts and her hands thin and graceful shook with nerves. She was finally living, even if only for the night, she was able to feel and they would be able to feel her.  
Before knocking on the wooden door of the big house, she looked around admiring the snow covered mountains. The daylight seemed to be paler than what she had seen just moments before while watching her family celebrate—could she have come at a different time? Trying not to think too much about it, Faith steeled her nerves and knocked on the door— Her mother introduced giving gifts on Christmas to her father, and it was her turn to finally give them a gift—waiting with baited breath for someone to answer. Would it be her father or mother that opened the door? After, what felt like a lifetime, the door swung open and Faith couldn’t keep her tears at bay.  
     “Hi, Da.”  
     Her father’s face blanched as his jaw gaped, trying to form words but unable to do so. “Jamie, who is it and on Christmas?” Faith’s smile widened as she moved her head to look over Jamie’s shoulder to see her mother coming up behind him.  
     “Mam!” She felt like the giddy little girl who would sneak into her mother’s dreams just to play with her. Watching her mother’s face go from one of concern to shock then to unconsciousness was one of the scariest things she’d ever witnessed. She watched in disbelief as her Da seemed to come out of whatever fog he was in and raced to catch her Mam’s head before it struck the ground.  
     The commotion did not go unnoticed, rounding the corner was the spitting image of her grandmother, only this vision had the signature Fraser eyes, Brianna.  
     “Faith.” Brianna whispered as she took in the sight of her long forgotten imaginary friend. “I, how? You were just an imaginary friend!”  
     “Hello sister, I am sorry we had to meet again this way. Ye would not let me in after a while.” Faith shrugged, confusing Bree. “What do you mean, I wouldn’t let you in? You weren’t real! How are you here?”  
     “Did Mam and Da never tell ye about me? About the child they lost before ye?” Brianna’s face paled as she calculated where this was going, but nodded towards her imaginary friend all the same. “I’m yer sister, Brianna. I’ve been watching out for ye since before ye were born; then once ye were born I visited and protected ye. Do ye no remember the days I’d bring Da back to ye? Or the ones where we’d cuddle in the rocking chair tellin’ stories about our family?”  
     “I,” Bree stuttered as memories flashed back to her. An older curly brown haired girl with the same blue eyes as herself telling stories in a funny accent about a Murtagh, Willie and Robbie. The occasional mention of grandparents and an Uncle Lamb—Bree had written these memories off as her imaginary friend using names she had heard from her mother and father to create the tales. “I thought you weren’t real.”  
     “Ye convinced yerself later that I was no real, I’ve always been there. It is good to see ye face to face, sister.”  
Bree raised a tentative hand and placed it on Faith’s arm, her eyes going wide. “How are you here if you are my sister who died as a baby?”  
     “Grandma Ellen. Ye can thank her for my arrival today.” Faith’s shoulder shrugged in such a Scottish fashion Bree could only laugh. The likeness of their father showed through in that one simple gesture.  
     “Ellen? My mother sent ye here, a nighean?”  
     “Aye, Da. It’s our Christmas gift to ye, all of ye. I came here to tell ye how much the family loves and misses each of ye. I only have until ye fall asleep tonight to stay, but I never truly leave ye. I’m always watching.”  
     Jamie held a coming to Claire on his lap, stunned and overjoyed at seeing his daughters together.  
     “I had the strangest dream, Jamie. I saw our perfect angel fully grown and walking through the door.” Claire had tears streaming down her face. “It was nay a dream, Sassenach. Look for yerself, Faith is here.”  
     Claire’s head whipped around to where Jamie pointed, what she saw caused her heart to clench and even more tears to stream down her face. Her daughters were embraced in a casual hug smiling and speaking with each other. “Oh God, thank-you!” Claire rejoiced.  
     “Come on, Sassenach, let’s join them.” Helping his wife to her feet, Jamie’s hands shook with emotion.  
     “Is it really you, Faith?” Resting a tentative hand on the angel’s face, Claire could not look away. “Aye, Mam. It’s me.” Faith released her sister and allowed herself to do what she always ached to do, hug her mother. She felt her father wrap both of them up in his arms as his body shook with tears and words of endearment flowed from him in Gaelic.  
     “Mam, what’s takin’ sae long? Mandy and I want to open— AUNTIE! Ye came!” The rock hard solidness of Jemmy barreled into the barricade his grandparents made around his aunt. “I ken ye would come, auntie. Dinna I tell ye, ye would be here with us all!”  
     “Aye so ye did, a bhailach, so ye did.”  
     “Jem, you have seen Faith before?”  
     Nodding enthusiastically, Jem refused to leave the group huddle with his aunt. “Oh aye, Mam. Many a times, she use to come and play with Mandy and me back at Lallybroch. She’d take us to go see grandda and grannie before we came back.”  
     The silence after Jemmy’s revelation, was deafening. “Come along, mo chridhe, let’s go surprise yer sister!” Faith playfully said and pulled Jemmy from the room to find Mandy.  
     Jamie, Claire and Bree stared at one another, smiles forming across their faces. “She never left us, mo nighean donn. She’s looked after us all.”  
     They could hear Mandy’s squeals as she encountered her aunt, along with Roger’s concerned shouts. “We best get in there and help the lad, he’ll no ken what to do with a Fraser woman who is an angel.” Brianna slapped her father’s shoulder then lead the way back to the study where the tree had been placed.  
     “Sit with me Auntie Faith! We’re about to open presents!”  
     “Oh is that so, mo chridhe? I dinna ken what to do so ye’ll have to help me.”  
     Mandy’s face became serious, she scrunched up her nose and nodded as she tried to explain how Christmas and Christmas presents worked.  
     Faith was elated to be seen, heard, and felt by her family. Hugging the little girl who could have been her doppelgänger to her body and reveled in the feeling of being there. This was not only the best Christmas she could give them, but the best Christmas they could give her. Surrounding the tree and fire, opening gifts, and just being together was the true gift. She knew she would not be able to stay physically with them forever as she wished, but at least they knew she was there, always watching; always protecting them with a group of angels that cared for each soul here.  
     After a day of stories and games, love and happiness, it was time for Faith to leave. She watched as her father and mother fought to stay awake, to spend one more second with the daughter they’d always longed for. “Da? Mam?”  
     “Aye, mo chiusle?”  
     “I love ye and I’m always with ye. Dinna weep for me, remember me and be happy. I’m wi’ the rest of our family, all of us together smiling down watching ye. We’ll be there when the time comes, ready to embrace ye once again. For now though, when ye lay to go to sleep and think of me, I’ll come and see ye again. Ye have to make yerself open to me, or I canna visit.”  
     “I wish you didn’t have to go, my darling girl. I wanted you from the moment I knew about you, it’s unfair that you never got the chance…”  
     “Mam, I still got to be with ye. Everyday, and I’ll still be there. Please dinna cry.” Faith said as she brushed a tear away from her mother’s face. “Ye dinna lose me. Ye canna lose love.”


	2. Incomplete Alternate Storyline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Incomplete alternate storyline for the Christmas Faith story. Jamie, Claire and Faith only.

     Jamie Fraser sat at the table poking at the parritch Claire had quickly made— quickly since she was running around trying to make the house look perfect for Bree and her family’s arrival.  
     “Garland there, the tree is up. I wish I had some nice baubles to hang, oh well pinecones and old ribbons will have to do. Where is—” The ramblings of Claire’s voice wafted to him in sporadic bursts as she flitting from one side of the house to the next.  
     “Claire, ye need to calm down. The bairns are no gonna care so long as they get their,” waving his hands at the tree searching for words, “watcha call it?”  
     “Presents.”  
     “Aye, presents. I understand a posy and a gift every sae often, but a day ye count on presents?”  
     Claire huffed and looked at him exasperatedly. She had explained Christmas and the traditions of her time to him multiple times, and he did remember, he just enjoyed listening to her speak so animatedly of the distant future. Before she had a chance to say anything a banging knock grabbed their attention. Jamie arched an eyebrow at Claire, wondering if she had heard the horses or giggles of the bairns growing closer to the big house. The same quizzical look was on his wife’s face, who was staring intently at the door.  
     Opening the door Jamie was rendered speechless. Before him stood his Sassenach looking of she found him in Edinburg. Something was not quite right with the woman who stood before him, the eyes were the wrong color to be a fetch from that day.  
     “Da.” The woman whispered, and as if coming out of a fog, Jamie’s memory flashed with the sight of small slip of a girl with his Claire’s features, steadily growing up before his eyes. “Faith.”

     The girl grinned and launched herself into his arms. “I’ve missed ye, Da.” She murmured into his shoulder. His hands held her tight to him, one arm around the back, the other reverently cupping the back of her head, all the while feeling the sturdy warmth of a body pressed against him.  
     “I’m no asleep, am I?”  
     “No Da, ye are most definitely not asleep. I’m home.”  
     “Yer Mam, she—” Turning towards Claire, Jamie saw her face had gone whiter than the newly fallen snow and tears streamed down her cheeks.  
     “How?” Claire stammered looking at her husband and long lost daughter.  
     “Happy Christmas, Mam.”  
     “Faith…oh God!” Claire’s knees buckled causing her to slide to the floor. Faith extricated herself from her father’s grasp and went over to embrace her mother.  
     “How? When?” Claire stammered while tears flowed endlessly.  
     “I’m only here to see ye and Da for the day… I have to go back when ye fall asleep.” Pain etched across all three of their faces, not wanting to give up the miracle of the day.  
     “Your sister will be here soon. She’s ma—”  
     “Married now with bairns of her own, aye I ken. I’ve been watching. I canna wait to see them again.”  
     Jamie crossed the room with eyes eyebrows knitted together. “Again, a nighean?”   
     Faith’s smile was the same as Claire’s and lit up the room as she explained how for the last twenty years she had watched over them. Visiting in their deepest of slumbers and playing with the bairns as they grew.  
     “All this time, ye’ve been there? Why can I no remember?” The sadness of knowing his daughter had been there but not being able to do anything cut across Jamie’s face clear as day.  
     “Oh Da! Sometimes ye are no allowed to remember, that’s how it works. I’m hopeful that ye will remember me after this visit, but I canna promise it.”  
     “Faith,” Claire said reaching out for her daughter. “Please don’t go, stay. You are wanted, you are more than loved, and we do not want to be parted from you.”  
    A watery smile crossed Faith’s face, “Mam, I dinna want to go later tonight, but that’s no how it works. I’m no supposed to be visible or solid while here as it is; this being a Christmas present, exceptions were made.”


End file.
